founders journal day 1

What is everyone using Medium for? I think I will use it as a journal… The last few years have been a serious roller coaster for me- relocated to my home state of Washington to take care of my pops. Me and my father weren’t that close but he called me one day and told me he was going into the hospital to have some test run, he sounded fine on the phone (or maybe I was so busy in my own world and not hearing my fathers voice that I couldn’t tell something was terribly wrong). Anyhoo- I finished my work day went home, fell asleep and was awoken the hell up at 3 am the next morning up by a dream (let me rephrase this- it was a mother fucking nightmare- I woke up with my heart beating through my chest and sweating heavily) the hospital called and told me my father had passed and wanted to know what I should do with his things. I was terrified, I called the hospital and it was midnight in Seattle so they couldn’t connect me to his room but the staff let me know that he was asleep and doing OK. Well I hopped online and booked a one way ticket to Seattle. Upon arrival I went straight to the hospital and found out my dad had checked himself into the Psych ward at the hospital, when they brought me to my dad he was unrecognizable. Not physically, but he had lost about 50 pounds from the last time I had seen him and his mental state wasn’t the best. He was carted into the room in a wheel chair and he was hunched over mumbling to himself. Just a little backstory- I graduated from high school and moved to Florida for college, my brother and sister both followed in my foot steps- sis went to VA and my little brother moved to NC. My mom and dad divorced when I was 5 and he never remarried, had a few girlfriends here and there but nothing substantial so he essentially had been without family for over a decade. My father and his siblings did not keep a close relationship with one another. So back to being in the hospital, my father had isolated himself inside his apartment for years and being along had a huge impact on the deterioration of his mental and physical health. So seeing my dad in this condition broke me in two pieces, I never returned to Florida. To be continued…

@jessepeakdotcom

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